Feeling Uncomfortable

Today was a great day, hubby and I had breakfast with friends this morning. I had told him, let's go for a drive, out to his brother's,check the 5th wheel,and then maybe to Temecula, the mall would be cool and I could get a green iced tea from Starbuck's while browsing the sale books at Barnes and Noble. He loves the sale books, we have got some good bargains for his photography. Anyway, when we got to his brother John's, we decided to go to Anza Days up the hill about 20 minutes and then to the VFW to have lunch. We ended up having lupper about 4:00 pm at the Stagecoach Inn on the way home instead. While at the VFW we were there about 2 hours and no lunch being served that day, so I had a Sprite. We were in a bar area and only a few people were there, as the new people were introduced to me, you see Gary knew most of them as he belongs to the VFW, one woman was very vocal, kinda reminded myself of me, (when I thought I knew it all). This is a small community and everyone knows everyone!!!! go figure. The vocal woman came out from behind the bar and said hello to John, as she had not noticed earlier he was there. She was talking with us and she looked at me and this was after she said something like I'll clean up my mouth now, the look was not nasty or did not make me feel bad or even like I was better. I was real quiet earlier and John said cheer up Cheryl, I got up quickly and took my empty glass to the bar, saying to him, I'm ok, I used to be like this place, but not anymore. I felt while sitting there that I was on the outside looking in, I was not judging anyone, but was it odd that I felt at peace? Well, we were leaving and everyone said goodbye, hope to see you again, so nice to meet Gary's wife, they were sincere. Where or what was the uncomfortable feeling coming from? While I am typing this, many things come to my mind, my still being in captivity, denying that it was ok for me to be there? When I got home there was a message from a friend at church, telling me about the women's yard sale and missing me, knowing hubby and I were enjoying our grandchildren. I e-mailed back that I would see her at church in the morning, I had decided to go before. Please pray for the strength that I know God gives me. I do not as you know blabber on in my posts, I am not overwhelmed, but did want to share. Love all my blog buddies Love Nana C